Entertainment News - TV

THIS ISSUE: So You Think You Can Dance, The Bachelorette, Mistresses, Scream, Person of Interest TOP MOMENT OF THE NIGHT The Kids Are All Right on SYTYCD Fox BECAUSE: Don't touch that dial. There was nothing wrong with your screen while watching the So You Think You Can Dance premiere on Monday night, the contestants just really are that small. Season 13 is featuring dancers ages 8 to 13 and while watching the "little people" (to borrow Jason Derulo's terminology) might be an adjustment for SYTYCD diehards, as it turns out... the kids are pretty good! We'd give the best audition/least creepy-factor to Kida the hip-hop dancer who immediately earned Fik-Shun comparisons. Not bad for a middle-schooler.

The Bachelorette ABC WHAT HAPPENED: There have been many meatheads in the illustrious history of The Bachelorette, but never has there been one quite so meaty as Chad. While Wells nearly dies on the firefighter group date (and earns himself a rose for it), Chad was back home doing pull-ups with a suitcase full of protein powder -- we could not make this stuff up -- attached to his torso and making himself public enemy number by talking a whole lotta smack about his new roommates/co-boyfriends. By the time Chad made it to his own group date at ESPN, he was publicly mocking all the other fellas for their constant praise of JoJo, and proclaiming himself the only honest one in the bunch because he wasn't willing to give her a heartfelt (FAKE) proposal as part of their (FAKE) date since he doesn't actually know her that well yet. And even though he managed to call JoJo "naggy" during the process, and even though he pounds what Grant classified as enough deli meat to feed an entire kindergarten class (though it was absolutely enough to stock the dining hall of a small liberal arts university) throughout the cocktail party and into the Rose Ceremony, JoJo still forks over a rose to him. Presumably, he ate it. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: It's possible you noticed... there was quite a bit of Chad in Monday's Bachelorette episode: Chad eating meat(s), Chad smirking, Chad chugging protein shakes, Chad threatening to punch and maim a marine. It would be easy to forget that a Rose Ceremony even happened! Luckily, YahooTV has an appropriate sendoff for those we lost, and a setup for what's ahead (hint -- it's more Chad): "Fare thee well Brandon the hipster, James the Superfan, and Will the toilet-paper vandal! I'm pretty sure we'll see at least one of you in Paradise. In the meantime, we'll all keep watching The Chad Show -- which gets two full episodes next week. Start slamming those protein shakes now to prepare!"

Mistresses ABC WHAT HAPPENED: Mistresses premiered its fourth season on Monday night and -- spoiler alert -- even though we've jumped a year into the future, there are still no actual mistresses on this show! In the future, Joss is testifying at Wilson's murder trial, but keeping mum to her friends and boyfriend back home about just how much the lingering trauma is effecting her, and punching it out in a martial arts class instead. Harry returns from getting mistaken for The Mentalist in Europe and proposes to Joss on the beach, so maybe those two can just stay together and be happy (please?!). April is dealing with premature empty nest syndrome, hardly improved by the fact that Marc informs her he wants to give his music career a real shot. But April tells him she's just jealous of all his passions -- which if you're like us, you kind of forgot he had -- since she put her artistic dreams on hold. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: And then there's Dr. Karen, who's now a single mother and published author, and has handily turned down the advances of her new manny, Robert, played by Jerry O'Connell. So, as you may have noticed, the Mistresses premiere kept things suspiciously tame. Or as TVLine states it plainly, "The unspeakable occurs on the Season 4 premiere of Mistresses, when a four-month-old bundle of sunshine, gurgles, and endless cheeks pulls focus from chiseled torsos, murder trials, and erotic memoir readings." That's right, there wasn't an on-screen sex scene to be found, and not one of these gals was performing any of their duties as a titular mistress. But TVLine has hope for the future: "[Karen's] familiar, hesitant tone tells us that Robert's abs could get their own chapter in her next book." Yes, please!

Scream MTV WHAT HAPPENED: Man, the Lakewood Six just cannot catch a break. Three months after Piper descended on Lakewood with a murder-fueled vengeance rampage for not getting the perfect life of her half-sister Emma, an entirely different villain makes their debut in the season 2 premiere. And that's how handsome, handsome Jake finds himself strung up in a barn (one that Emma had a dream about, no less), getting gruesomely murdered by the new masked creep in town. And with that, the Lakewood Six now number five, and Audrey better watch her back if she doesn't want it to be four -- she's got a phone full of stalker texts that suggest this new killer knows about her freelance work with Piper. Watch your back, bebe. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: But why, oh why, did it have to be handsome, handsome Jake?! Well... showrunners Michael Gans and Richard Register were ready with the answers in an interview with EW following Monday's premiere: "You needed to care a lot about that person, and that person needed to feel meaningful to us... There's a reason why it was necessary to start with Jake. What it did to the group and how it plays out on the group is really the reason why. That happens quite beautifully," said Gans. And as for that fancy new scythe the killer is wielding, Register assures that won't be the only weapon of choice this season, and Gans added on, "There's a super anger behind it, more of an intense psychoses that he and or she and or they want you to see what they're doing." We certainly see what ya did with the pronouns, there... oh, we see it.

One More Thing...

Person of Interest Heads Toward 100 CBS SOTTO VOCE: Finch's nemesis returned to Person of Interest on Monday, and considering that Tuesday will mark the series' 100th, you'll definitely want to be caught up.