Self-Control

Simply reading and understanding God's will for us isn't enough. We must also choose in obedience to follow it–and that's the difficult part. So often, we are too headstrong to submit.

The mother of a strong-willed four-year-old once said to her daughter, "Now, Cathy, you're just going to have to obey me. I'm your boss, and I have the responsibility to lead you. That's just what I intend to do." Little Cathy thought for a minute, and then replied, "How long does it have to be that way?" Even at age four, this child was already yearning to forge her own path. Most of us were just as determined when we were kids.

It's vital that your sons and daughters learn to obey you as preparation for later obedience to God. It's not always easy to instill a spirit of obedience in your kids.

Many parents take a passive approach to guiding and disciplining their children because they want their kids to learn self-control. But since young people lack the maturity to generate self-discipline, the good intentions of these parents usually fail. Their kids enter adulthood without ever having learned how to manage their own lives or control their own impulses.

Consider the example of Doug, a young man who has never learned to curb his temper or his tongue. His parents consistently ignored their son's angry outbursts during childhood, assuming he would eventually learn to control this problem on his own. Years later, Doug lands his first full-time job, but quickly gets into a heated dispute with his boss and is fired. It is only the first of many disappointments ahead.

Your children need help in developing self-discipline and self-control. Allow them, within reason, to suffer the unpleasant consequences of their mistakes, such as walking to school when they miss the bus or paying for the repairs when they put a dent in the family car. Most important, encourage them to spend time in the Word of God and to invite Jesus into their hearts. When they give their lives to Him, they will begin to enjoy the fruits of the indwelling Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22)–including self-control.

by Dr. James Dobson