Entertainment News - TV

THIS ISSUE: The Bachelorette, UnREAL, BrainDead, Mistresses, The Real Housewives of Orange County TOP MOMENT OF THE NIGHT Don't Cry for JoJo, Bachelorette Fans ABC BECAUSE: There was a two-for-one special on The Bachelorette Monday night. First, JoJo springs for yet another two-on-one date, letting Derek admit all his feelings for her. But JoJo ultimately chooses Chase, sending Derek home in the Suburban of Tears as Soledad Pastorutti sings "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" in the background. (It's incredible.) Then JoJo just can't decide if she should give her last rose of the evening to James Taylor or Alex, so Chris Harrison brings out another rose and they both stay. JoJo is basically the Oprah of roses, unless you're Derek.

UnREAL Lifetime WHAT HAPPENED: Quinn and Chet are temporarily back together, but this time it's platonic: Fresh off Rachel's betrayal (and the news that her dad died), Quinn is looking for her way back into the Everlasting driver's seat, and Chet would rather have Quinn at the wheel than "little weirdo and dick for brains." Monday's episode opens with the reveal that Darius is very hurt ...like, so hurt that his doctor says one wrong move could paralyze him. If it's revealed on the show, it could ruin his football career, so Rachel promises to hide the injury and protect him if he'll just stay on Everlasting. Unfortunately, Quinn finds out and turns a group date into "whoever tackles Darius first gets a one-on-one!" The girls tackle, Darius goes down, and Quinn's plan to destroy the show while Coleman's in charge is set in motion. Unfortunately for her, Rachel is also more than willing to risk her suitor's safety and convinces him to take the epidural his own doctor refused to give him. Romeo is furious with Darius when he finds out he was manipulated into risking his football career and, uh, paralysis to stay on the show. And we're really hoping Romeo returns because this show needs at least one reasonable person around. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: Did we mention that Chet kidnapped his own baby? Yes, Chet kidnapped his own baby. No one on the Everlasting crew is doing very well, but Vulture says that UnREAL is doing an excellent job of showing it, and from a perspective that's rarely spotlighted: "The black body may be the most commodified figure in American history.... The black body has been demeaned, exploited, and praised, yet black people are rarely compensated enough. UnREAL's latest excellent episode brings these dynamics to the fore by making Darius its focal point. Watching Darius' body be put in danger, manipulated, treated like eye candy, and racialized -- by white producers no less -- shows that what he's losing for the sake of good PR isn't worth it." And as for those exploiting him, potentially paralyzing Darius is a new low -- one that Quinn is nearly gunning for and Rachel is boldly risking. Consider us downright terrified to see where this story is headed.

BrainDead CBS WHAT HAPPENED: As EW recapper Devan Coggan observes, "We may only be three episodes in to BrainDead, but so far, we're three for three on exploding heads." That's right -- another head went kablooey in Washington, D.C., and this time, appropriately on a political news show. Laurel hears of this from an FBI agent (not Anthony), and when he mentions that it was a Wheatus staffer, she rushes right over to Gareth's office, fearing the worst. But he's fine, and their electric but forbidden bipartisan chemistry lives to see another day. Still, a good one has fallen: Laurel meets with bestie Stacie (who was recently locked in a bug-filled bathroom by Abby) for drinks. Stacie orders a club soda and spouts uncharacteristically extremist opinions. Laurel almost seems to get through to her by making her recall a boy who broke her heart in college. That bit of hope makes it all the more exciting that Laurel and Gustav, a.k.a. Dr. Bob Bob, have finally met and are at least swapping theories on the brain eating bugs that have invaded D.C. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: That last development is right on time, says the A.V. Club: "Laurel's team-up with fellow bug hunter Gustav is immediatelyBrainDead's greatest asset going forward, Mary Elizabeth Winstead's wry sensibleness pairing nicely with Johnny Ray Gill's bristling comic conviction that there are, indeed, secret forces arrayed against the American people." But with the strengths come weaknesses, and for the latter, the A.V. Club points to the inconsistency in the methods of BrainDead's space ants, plus the ambiguity that creates around their mission: "Created by The Good Wife masterminds Robert King and Michelle King, the series is clearly more at home taking swings at the (slightly) exaggerated politicians and media types populating its world than in crafting a coherent Invasion Of The Body Snatchers-style sci-fi allegory." But we're thinking the crack team of Gustav and Laurel might just offer the uniting effect they're looking for.

Mistresses ABC WHAT HAPPENED: We're losing Robert the Manny (a.k.a. Jerry O'Manny,a.k.a. Jerry O'Connell) too soon! Though Mistresses is finally back on its sexy track thanks to the steamy scenes with Karen and Robert, Karen decides in Monday night's episode that she has to cut him loose. As Joss tells her, you can scale back on work for a baby or a book, but not because of a dude -- and Karen has clients to help orgasm! Speaking of Joss, she's mourning the loss of a huge client at her PR firm, so she sets her sights on a pop star. She hacks the young woman's current rep's cell phone at a party and leaks his damaging texts to Gawker. All in a day's work, we guess? As for April and Marc, they're doing as well as they usually are, which is to say, April's rich client Michael just filed for divorce from his wife and tried to make out with her, and Marc's band just hired one of his ex-girlfriends as the new lead singer. Yep, there's a reason this show isn't called Marriages! WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: What exactly is happening in Joss' head, and why can't her fiancé or her BFFs pick up on the hints that her trauma runs much deeper than what came out on the witness stand? TVLine fears we're headed for a break down: "Normally, you'd hear no complaints from me about Mistresses' Josslyn Carver hacking a rival's cell phone, using his rotten texts for her professional gain, then celebrating with a giant glass of vodka.... Trouble is, Joss' latest adventure comes at the same time as she's isolating from friends and family, putting an inordinate amount of trust in an instructor from her this-close-to-Fight-Club self-defense class, and (nearly a year after it occurred) still unable to utter the terrible truth about whatever happened to her on the night she was held captive by Calista's deranged assistant Wilson With the Wig and Caftan." Our girl is crumbling -- someone help a Mistress out!

One More Thing...

Let's Talk About Health, O.C. Bravo A BOAT OF LIES: The drama amps up on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Did Heather's plan to lure a confession from Vicki about being in on Brooks' cancer lies work? Of course not. Cancer Gate continues...