Having Traditions in Relationships

Traditions are practices that create positive feelings and are repeated at regular intervals. Such traditional activities as birthday and life milestone celebrations, family activity days, vacations, special meals, holidays and religious celebrations facilitate family closeness and are often cherished throughout the years. However, if a tradition no longer meets the needs of today’s family, it can be readily modified or discontinued.

The value of existing traditions. Traditions strengthen family bonds in a number of ways.

• Meaningful traditions promote a sense of identity and continuity within the family.
• Traditions provide feelings of belonging, safety and security through predictable, familiar experiences that are particularly valuable to children.
• Traditions nurture the emotional health, self-esteem and mutual respect of family members.
• With awareness of traditions, families always have experiences of togetherness to anticipate.
• As life goes on and people grow and change, traditions help connect older generations with newer ones.

Evaluate and update. When an old ritual no longer seems to be a positive family event, you may want to update it for new times and new needs.

• Consider convening a family meeting to identify and write down the traditions in which the group participates throughout the year.
• Let all participants comment on how much they enjoy each tradition. There may be some rituals suitable for more frequent observance, while others may no longer be seen as enjoyable. Be willing to adjust or discard traditions that don't benefit the family.

Creating new traditions. Brainstorm for new family traditions to explore.

• Add simple rituals such as reading or telling stories at bedtime.
• Mark children’s developmental milestones with rituals as they approach maturity.
• When observing birthdays, have the birthday person choose his or her favorite meal. Then, everyone else in the family can help prepare the meal.
• Take a family trip to your ancestors’ countries of origin to learn more about family roots. Whether abroad or locally, visit the gravesites of those who have gone before.
• Involve the whole family in a spring cleaning day at home, or perhaps a day annually or monthly to volunteer in the community.
• Retool! For example, if you love the outdoors, but the annual camping trip isn’t now popular with the rest of the family, try nature-geocaching via GPS to locate treasures hidden by others.
• If certain family members express weariness over holiday responsibilities such as cooking and decorating, plan to completely change how you do things next year.